I spent the last year worshipping a guy over my favorite Guy up in Heaven. Now that the guy I had given my whole heart to has left me, leaving my heart on the ground, I have a choice.
I could a) pick up that dirtied heart and rush off to parties to flirt with other guys and try and find someone (who isn't looking at my heart, clearly, or he would have seen it's dirty) new ASAP to give that heart to or I could b) take a good look at my heart and clean it. I can hand it over completely to God for the next year and let Him cleanse it. I can do my best to give him the tools He needs. I can give him my focus, my attention, my thoughts, my words, my actions, and, when I give Him my heart, my love. After this year with Him, I will have a clean and purified heart. It will be mine to control again and it will be completely engulfed in worshipping Him.
After a year, God will still have my heart, but He’ll give me permission to share it again. Only then, when my heart is completely filled with God, will I allow myself to look for my husband. Our hearts will meet in God.
If I meet him before then, well then we’ll have quite the dandy friendship. I am putting God first in my life, starting now until forever. I will not worship another again over Him.
So I am going with option B. No flirting, no dating, no thinking “what if…” about any guy, no anything. If a thought enters my mind about a guy, in will pop Jesus to replace him instead. I’m dating Jesus this year. I won’t be cheating on Him. I’m focusing on our relationship only. He’ll give my hand to the one He deems worthy for my heart when the time comes.
Until then, Jesus is my only guy.
Please pray for me everyone as I embark on this journey of the heart.
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