I began writing this post Wednesday night and passed out while doing so. I ended up finishing it following a lunch with a dear friend and it ended up being perfect timing so I decided to rewrite my post for the day. Lately, I've been thinking about fellowship and what it means to be a friend.
So what does it mean to be a friend?
I have begun to reflect on that question. The more I do, the more I realize I really suck at being a friend. I really do. I don't answer text messages, Facebook messages, etc. I back out of things at the last minute. I don't listen fully in conversations. I gossip. I do little things here and there, but I think there's a part of me that really likes doing them because they make me feel good, not because of the joy it will give to my friend.
So I know what it means to not be a friend. But still, what does that tell me about being a good friend? What is a good friend?
A good friend is someone that encourages godly behaviors and choices while loving and forgiving you anyway when you sin against God. It's someone who you know you can always count on to answer your call. It's someone that you know you can turn to and they will be there to help no matter how awful their own day is and they will drop everything to help you. A good friend cares for your soul, your life, your happiness, everything. A good friend loves you at all times.
In Edward Sri's book Men, Women, and the Mystery of Love which was based on Pope John Paull II's Love and Responsibility, he mentions a phrase Italians have for love. Ti voglio bene which literally means not "I love you," but instead "I want what is good for you." I think that is such a beautiful expression. And isn't that what love is? Wanting the good for another?
When you choose to share a friendship with someone, you are choosing to love them. You should be wanting the good for that person and you should provide good in your own actions towards that person. You should be bringing them closer to Christ in anyway you can. As I write this, I am thinking about the atheist friends I would lose if I was trying to "save" them all the time. Sometimes, the best way to show these friends is too simply be a great representative of the Church. Be joyful in the Lord. When hardship comes, find hope in the Lord and keep smiling through it. When your world is going crazy and you feel like you can't keep up, take a moment, and find peace in the Lord. For anyone around you (especially friends), this can mean so much. To borrow a trite, but so true quote, you could be the only bible a person ever reads.
Today, I caught up with a friend who I had been a bit on the outs with for awhile. We hadn't been close in years and we didn't tend to talk much since. When she tried to get together, I fell into the same bad friend habits I mentioned earlier and didn't treat her with the respect she deserved as my sister in Christ. I had so many regrets regarding my behavior when I met up with her for lunch today. So many. She shared her story of how she came to Christ (I WAS SO EXCITED YOU GUYS!!!!!!) One of the things that stuck out to me that she said was how she started noticing all these Christians who were so happy. She was intrigued and wanted to know what the deal was. One thing led to another and now she will, for the first time in her life, be celebrating Easter as a Christian. How amazing is that? It is so beautiful and I am beyond happy for her. All the Christians that were joyful in the Lord helped lead a fine young women to God. After our lunch, I was so overjoyed. I had been praying to God for more godly women and close friend. I kept thinking new friends, but I forgot that the best of friends can sometimes be found in the past. Now I know I have someone who understands my struggles and my goals. It's amazing. I am so happy to have her.
Remember there are people like my friend constantly surrounding you. You may not know it. Together, we are all family. Your job is to bring as many of those people to Christ. We are all one fellowship under God. Treat your family, friends, coworkers, classmates, whoever with complete love. Wish the good for them. Be good to them. Show what a Christ-led life looks like. Be a friend to the friendless. Love the unloved. Administer to the lonely. We are all one family an we better start loving each other like one.
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