Ok so I kind of have this new awesome friend. For his sake, we'll call him Anakin (because I love little boy Anakin Skywalker in Star Wars and I secretly adore that name, but also know if I ever named my child that, they would be a fuh-reak for life so in protecting my friend's identity online, I find freedom to name him Anakin [that was all useless, I know]). Anyway, Anakin is doing a dating fast too and we were talking a bit about it. He said something that touched on a topic we had discussed in an earlier discussion. It went something like this, "doing a dating fast isn't about saying no to dating or flirting. It's about saying yes to God!"
Ummmmm heck yeah it is! This fast has shown me how to give my attention to God only. It's about giving everything to Him. I am keeping my heart for Him and giving it completely. I am giving God all my love. I am not saying no to things. I am saying yes to the right things for me right now.
I would always meet a guy and immediately try and figure out if he had "potential." I am guilty of somehow sneaking in the following questions into conversation after meeting a guy:
Question: "Oh so what are you studying? What do you want to do with that?"
Translation: How bright is your future and will it be able to handle the shopping sprees I hope to go on in the future? I want my children to look adorable at all times and I want like twelve kids so can you guarantee we'd be financially secure? Can you afford the best medical insurance for me and the children with mental disabilities I want to adopt?
Question: "Some comment on Catholicism."
Translation: I'm waiting for you to understand my reference to the Paschal Triidum. This is a test. You better be the bestest Catholic everrrrrr (because I am, right? [that was a sarcastic stab at myself just so everyone understands that I know I sooooo am not]) because I'm not going to date anyone less than a saint (same thing).
Question: "Do you like Harry Potter?"
Translation: Not needed. Deal breaker. Obviously.
Question: "How are you?"
Translation: If you say "good" and not "well," then I know you may not be the most intellectually inclined person. I'm a grammar freak. Don't even get me started by saying "I could care less..."
Soooooo is anyone else besides me disgusted with myself for doing this? This is what I would do way back when I was single. This was my pride coming out. This was me not caring for the person, but instead only for myself.
With this project, I don't think of it as giving up flirting and the behaviors I just described. I think of it as gaining something more. I think of it as gaining good friendships. I think of it as a way for God to lead me to godly people and cultivate friendships with them. I am gaining so much by giving up a little.
Instead of treating guys like nothing more but potential husbands and using them, I am choosing to respect them as human beings and my brothers in Christ. It sounds ridiculous, but I really don't know how to do that because I have always focused on marriage potentials in guys. By focusing on how to be friends with guys, I have started to learn how to be a better friend to the ladies in my life.
Better friendships is only one example of what I am gaining from God by giving up dating. By bringing my focus to God, I am being opened up to my future. I am being shown His path for me more clearly. Most importantly, I am gaining a much closer relationship with my Almighty Father. The graces and love that overflow from that make everything worth it.
I'm saying no to the world and a mighty YES to God and His Heavenly Kingdom.
P.S. It's already been two weeks. Whoa.
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