Day One Hundred and Four: Where Will Your Husband be on Sunday Mornings?

 

A few months back when I was discussing my dating fast and what had happened in my past relationship with Anakin (remember him?) we both came to the conclusion that you can't be in a relationship with someone and bear that whole weight of needing to bring that person to God. You both must already know Him. Things are so much better when you both are already looking towards God.

In my relationship, there were days when it felt like I was pulling teeth to get us to pray together or to stay pure. Near the end of our relationship, we both felt the strain of not being in the same place with God. He didn't find the beauty or necessity in chastity like I did. He didn't want to wait anymore. For me, saving myself for marriage has always been so important to me. It was something we both knew I would absolutely never give in to.

So it ended. And very quickly after, his actions with other girls showed me he had been the wrong choice for a long time. The guy who I had started our relationship, who enjoyed sitting next to me in mass, praying with me, or reading bible verses was gone. The guy who thought that my purity was astonishingly beautiful to find in a person later became the guy who forever leave his dark mark on it. I mean until confession when I was wiped clean, but there is still healing going on from it. Anyway, when that guy emerged, I should have bolted. But the reason I held onto him for so long was because when I looked at him, I still saw my innocent, trying-to-be-more-godly man.

I really think about this when I go to mass. I see so many moms with their kids. I see so many single women with rings on their left ring fingers. And that is so sad to me.

I had a priest who gave a talk on his vocation one year and he actually was engaged to a woman before he discerned the priesthood. Something he said really stuck out to me and I've held onto it in the years since. "One of the most beautiful and wonderful feelings in the world is sitting next to the woman you love worshipping God in Holy mass."

Dang.

With my ex, it was like that. I was always so excited. We were together in front of God. It was wonderful while it lasted. But as wonderful as that was, I know God has someone out there who will really appreciate the mass. Someone who knows what is going on. Someone who is fully aware that Jesus is RIGHT THERE AND YOU GET TO RECEIVE HIM I MEAN WHAT OH MY GOODNESS- sorry. Got a little carried away. HE IS JUST SO AWESOME.

Anyway...

To have someone next to you who understands and who is constantly striving to love God more is amazing. When you find someone like that, you know they are struggling with sin just like you. They are trying to live a good Christian life just like you. They are going to lead you in a Christian marriage and will eventually lead your family. Before marriage, he will want to stay pure. He will be the one suggested perpetual adoration when you're wondering what to do on a Saturday night. He'll be the one to start to lead a prayer before a meal at restaurants and at home. 

And one day, when you have kids or if your kids are all older and they are no longer in your home, you won't be standing there without your husband. You won't have to wrangle the kids into the car by yourself on a Sunday morning. You won't hear the whines of "well Daddy doesn't have to go!"

Best of all, if you both try your absolute hardest together to get the other to Heaven and to lead your children to have very good Catholic lives, you'll meet in Heaven. When one passes, the pain will be small because you know you'll see each other again one day. You won't be worried and terrified for the soul of your loved one. That could possibly be the most painful moment anyone might ever experience.

So find a godly man. One who will go to mass with you. One who will do his absolute best to get you into Heaven. Someone who will sacrifice his urges and desires for the betterment of your soul and his. Find this man. Date this man. Marry this man. And don't let anyone else trick you into thinking he could become this man. If he could, he already would be without your help.