It was then that I decided I needed to change my friend group and the people I associated with. I needed to stop focusing on the men in my life and start focusing on the woman I was and the woman I wanted to be first. If I wanted a godly man, I need to become the kind of woman he wants. You are who you hang out with, so I realized changes needed to be made and I needed more godly women in my life.
I encourage all my sisters to look at their friendships and reevaluate who they are letting be their closest gal pals. There is a big difference in which type of friend each girl or woman can be to you.
Sisters through Christ are your sisters because they share God as their father.
Sisters in Christ are your sisters because they share your love of the Lord and strive to live His commandments.
My non-religious friends didn't really get the whole purity thing. They don't understands virtuous living. They didn't encourage me to read the bible, but instead encouraged alcohol and parties and "$%@# HIM" screams as we head into a party filled with drunken guys and girls giving them what they wanted. My true sisters (in Christ obvi) wouldn't do that. They know struggles of followers of Christ and they understand the type of person I am trying to be. They understand my aspirations to be more Mary and less Miley (if ya get my drift). They have those same aspirations and encourage the best for me and my soul.
Sisters through Christ gossip and put-downs.
Sisters in Christ speak kindness and truth and love.
Gossiping about others was a pastime and I relished in it. The things I have said about women disgusts me to think about and I am embarrassed and horrified for what I said. The things that others and friends said about me to my face (and behind) were equally as terrible. My godly sisters have never made me feel even a quarter as terrible which all comes down to the next difference...
Sisters through Christ hold grudges and get catty.
Sisters in Christ practice forgiveness and support.
I can't even explain the feeling I had when I walked into the Newman Center after months of being away and barely knowing anyone and I started talking with three girls easily. A friend walked up and hugged and everyone was just so excited I was there. It didn't matter that I had been gone. It didn't matter that I didn't go on the retreat. It didn't matter that I had been a pretty awful member of the Newman community. None of that mattered. I was back (prodigal daughter style y'all) and forgiven without even asking. As I said my goodbyes, I was laughing along with girls about being new best friends and I meant it. Godly friends imitate the forgiveness and mercy of the Lord. I know even those who don't know me that well would be there for me in a heartbeat when there are girls I am with regularly who I couldn't say that for. They would support me in anything that is good for me. There are some other friends I have who I still feel like I am making up to for mistakes made two years ago who I know I will never be able to say that for.
Sisters in Christ are the happiest people.
I'm sorry, but if you don't know God, you don't know true joy. You just don't. Just knowing Him isn't enough either. You have to love Him and know He has things totally taken care of and covered. True joy is found in those who have Him in their hearts. It's knowing that this isn't our home. It's knowing that God loved you so much and thinks you are so amazing and beautiful and worthy that He forgives your sins. It's knowing that freedom is found in Him. Joy is peace of the heart. Walking into Newman just OOZES in that joy. The people who don't have them don't know that joy and it makes me sad seeing it. When my eyes aren't fixed on the cross, I feel that empty happiness.
Sisters through Christ are only there for you when others are watching or when it's easy.
Sisters in Christ are praying for you constantly.
My transplant made it abundantly clear which people I should make room for in my life. When talking to the greatest Sister Clara at Newman, I started crying about girls I put on such a pedastal in my life who couldn't even send a Facebook message to me in the hospital. She took my hand and said, "you know, we were here the whole time praying so hard for you." It really hit me. THESE were my girls. The ones who entrusted my life to God and counted on Him. That's so amazing. There is nothing I wanted more in the hospital than that. Girls I barely knew were praying for me when girls I had gotten closer with couldn't find the time to send me a quick "Hope you're doing all right!" They didn't need someone to see they were reaching out. They weren't there for me because I lived close by. They were there for me from 140 miles away and when others weren't watching. Amazing. Simply amazing.
Sisters through Christ don't know the saints.
Sisters in Christ (ok, this is probably only the Catholic ones) will COMPLETELY GO LIKE ONE DIRECTION FANGIRL CRAZY OVER MAMA MARY AND HOW AWESOME SHE IS AND BLESSED JPII IS BECOMING A SAINT AND OMG DO NOT EVEN GET ME STARTED ON MY GIRL FRIEND CHIARA.
I mean...it's just nice to have friends who get how AMAZING it is you get to CONSECRATE JPII in the middle of CORNFIELD, ILLINOIS and this is like ONE BIG FREAKING DEAL HOLY FUDGE.
So all in all, pick your friends wisely. It's something I am definitely starting to work on over break. I know we are all prone to mistakes and I am the first to admit I have been an ungodly sister in all the above ways listed, but looking at those who have been pretty awful friends to me has made me think about all the ways I have been a bad friend too. It's something I hope to change. Until then, I have started to find my new group of sisters and let me tell you, they are all REALLY obsessed with Blessed Chiara.
And to those girls who I talked to at Newman last week, know that by just being yourselves, you have really helped me get ridiculously excited for next semester. God was shining through all of you just when I needed to see Him.
"A faithful friend is a sturdy shelter, she who finds one finds treasure." - Sirach 6:14
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